The Problem
At a party, I heard someone call a famous musician a pedophile because he dated a 17-year-old. I laughed and said, “No, he’s an ephebophile.” If you’ve never heard that word, you’re not alone—it refers to people attracted to teens, typically aged 15 to 19. Technically, he wasn’t a pedophile. Still, we all agreed: something felt off. But why?
The answer lies in a question we rarely ask directly:
When is someone too young to consent to sex?
Why Consent Gets Complicated
Sex is legal unless there’s no consent. That’s the rule. But defining “no consent” isn’t always simple. In clear cases, the victim says no. But many cases aren’t clear. Prosecutors, judges, and jurors often have to decide:
Was the victim too drunk?
Was there pressure?
Was the “no” clear enough?
Now add age to the equation. With child sex crimes, we face more questions:
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Did the victim give consent?
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Were they old enough to consent?
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Was the other person too old for it to be legal, even with consent?
How Laws Try to Solve It
There’s broad agreement at the extremes. A prepubescent child cannot consent—period. Every state makes that illegal. At the other end, once someone is 18, they can legally consent to sex with other adults. That’s constitutionally protected.
The gray area is in between. States try to draw lines in different ways.
One basic approach ties consent to puberty. That’s why many states say 16- or 17-year-olds can legally have sex, including with adults. But if the person hasn’t gone through puberty, the law treats them as unable to consent at all. The Model Penal Code puts this line at age 10, but some states go higher.
For example, under the Uniform Code of Military Justice:
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A 16-year-old can legally have sex with an adult.
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A 13- to 15-year-old cannot—it’s called Carnal Knowledge.
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If a child is 11 or younger, any sexual act with an adult is automatically rape. No exceptions. No “mistake of age” defense.
Utah’s Approach
Utah draws similar lines:
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18 and older: Full legal consent.
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16 and 17: Can consent to sex, but not with much older adults. If the age gap is too large, it becomes Unlawful Sexual Conduct with a 16- or 17-Year-Old (§ 76-5-401.2). This is a lower-level sex offense.
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14 and 15: Can have sex with peers, but not with adults. If they do, it’s Unlawful Sexual Activity with a Minor (§ 76-5-401).
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Under 14: Any sexual act with an adult is Rape of a Child (§ 76-5-402.1), regardless of what the child said or thought.
No Perfect Line
Every state draws these lines a little differently. And there’s no perfect formula.
Too strict, and a high school senior might get charged for having sex with their 17-year-old girlfriend. Too relaxed, and predators can exploit children under the guise of consent.
So we compromise. We draw lines. And we argue over where exactly they should go.